Updated: Jun 24, 2022
If you grew up through the 90s, you likely watched the movie Runaway Bride starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere (if you haven’t, you are missing out and should stop reading this right now and watch it).
Welcome back for those of you who took my advice and watched the movie.
Now- there is a brilliant scene in this film that happens right after Richard Gere tells Julia Roberts that she doesn’t know who she is because she just becomes whoever she is in a relationship with where Julia Roberts is at a table full of eggs. All different kinds of eggs, tasting them to find out what kind of eggs SHE likes. I think about this scene often when I helping clients navigate self-discovery, or working on it myself.
Self-discovery is not as simple as trying a table full of eggs and BAM! You know who you are. But also, it is as simple as trying a table full of eggs, as a place to start. To clarify, self-discovery is about connecting with yourself and learning about yourself. Like with strangers who become friends, it often starts with “Hey! You like playing on the swings? Me too! What else do you like?” and grows from there into knowing about your friends likes, dislikes, quirks, values and core beliefs.
We disconnect from ourselves for so many reasons. Maybe we fear rejection so we blend in to the friend group we have, or our desire to be in a romantic relationship propels us to become the version of ourselves our current partner wants. Maybe it was never safe to just be who we are, so we never really got to know ourselves. Maybe we got lost in the stress and hustle of trying to survive, make rent, raise children, study, be healthy, and take care of everyone else.
Whatever the reason, it’s okay not to know yourself right now. It’s okay not to know where to start. It’s okay because we are all on this journey or trying to get to know ourselves better. So welcome to the journey, I’m glad you are here.
Let’s start small. Find your table of eggs moments, and one by one sort out what you like and don’t like. Then move into noticing what emotions come up during the day, and what thoughts you have regularly. How do the things you like, and the emotions and thoughts you hold tie in to a core value or belief that is important to you?
It isn’t eggs-actly a perfect science, but it can open up new questions and knowings about yourself, and that is a great thing!
-Alana at Lunar Light